Frustration!!!!!

So in my mind there are two kinds of frustration. The first is the kind that you can get frustrated over learn from it, make changes and move on. The second is the kind that you get frustrated and no matter how much you try to either forget, change or deal with it you only end up more frustrated. I usually don't vent on the blog because it really isn't the place, but when you are having a hard time being heard, there needs to be that moment of getting it off your chest.

It seems at the moment that there are more frustrating moments that falls into the second category. I just pray that when things work out it is all for the better.

I sat and had a good talk with my parents tonight, and I so miss those talks. I miss that closeness and the understanding that we have always had. I was able to get my frustrations out but ended up feeling more lost than I was when I went in. I know what I want, but I don't know what another wants. I would like to say that we want the same, but there is no way of knowing because the communication has stopped right now. I have so many people who love me and my family and I love having them around (even if it is only to vent), that are around me all the time, but I feel as though I am alone. The person I need the most, makes me feel like we don't understand each other. I want things to work but out for the better, whatever that may be. Right now the unknown has hit and I hate this.

The trouble that we face is no different than what many others face. I know everyone has trials and moments where it feels like the world is ending right here and now, but it always seems to go on. I look at this for the moment as a great thing that happened, and we are ready for the next step. If it hadn't of happened, there is no telling where we would be.

There is only so much that can be given and taken on any given day, and it seems as though what I can give and take is already a week ahead of me.

I have grown in a way that sitting and waiting is not for me. When problems arise, I want them dealt with and handled in a timely manner. For the past while it seems like things are always being pushed to the back. I have taken it for a while and I am ready for it to stop. Now I know it isn't going to happen over night, but I do want things to at least be put in perspective. Keep me informed. Show me the progress. There are some things that can't be dealt with over a matter of minutes, but weeks and months passing are not ok. I want to say that there is more that I could have done, but I honestly don't know that even if I had tried, it would have moved any faster.

I know this feeling wont last long, but for the time that it does last, I hope it never comes again. I don't want this to be a downer for anyone, I just needed a moment to vent. If you know me, you know that I do that well.

Prego Update

I can't believe that I am half way done! It seems like only yesterday that we found out. I am very excited to be having another little girl. Aubrey will now have a playmate!

Not only is this pregnancy been so different from Aubrey, but I am finding it way more difficult than being pregnant the first time. Having to take care of a 2 year old while baking another one, it well... just wears you out! With Aubrey I was only really sick for the first, like 3 months. With this little one baking I was constantly nauseated for 4 and 1/2! I am so glad that the sickness has started to go away, only in time to start to feel my little one move! And today she sure has not liked me one bit! I compare everything to Aubrey because that is all I know. People would tell me stories of how they were being rib kicked, having baby hiccups, and bladder kicks. I seriously didn't receive any of these, so i had no problem being pregnant. I now know what people are talking about. Although I really haven't received any of those yet... this little on has been more active than our last. I am very excited to see what this little one brings me in the coming months. I am just hoping to keep up with my active 2 year old for the summer moths with a baby baking. :)

A Birthday Celebration!

So this past week we celebrated our baby girl's 2nd birthday! I can't believe that two years ago I was just coming home from the hospital with a brand new baby and now my little one is growing up so fast, right before my eyes! We had friends and family over for a BBQ and then cake and presents. I loved that the kids were all playing together so great. It is nice to have friends with kids close to my child's age. It makes get-together's much more fun. (Right now we are the odd one's out with only one child... but that is soon to change) :)

She has gotten into Tinkerbell lately so we did a Tinkerbell theme. This was her cake!

Out of everything that happened at her party, my favorite part was that Aubrey blew out her own candle! I was so proud of her. She is just learning and growing so fast!

Eating her own piece of birthday cake. She had a blast eating all the frosting. When I was cutting the cake she went on to pick off the cake ALL the flowers!

So this was right after she opened her Mickey mouse Clubhouse gift, and seriously all the kids were glued to the box. Even Aubrey and she had more gifts to open. She was getting upset with all the other kids wanting her toy... it was funny to watch.

Now this was taken after everyone went home from the party. I went into the living room and sat down to take a breather from the party. I heard Aubrey singing Happy Birthday. I thought it was cute... but then she just kept singing it. So I went into the kitchen and she was up on the counter singing to herself Happy Birthday, and then taking a bite of cake and repeating. I was laughing so hard, I just had to get a picture.

So today was the big day...

We are expecting our second baby and today we found out that it is a....

My new china!!!

Ok so I have known since before my wedding that I have a set of china. Good china. I never saw it, but I knew I I had it. Well with circumstances recently in our family, my parents brought them down to me. So I took this evening to go through them and see what I had. Oh my heavens... there was so much, and it is so beautiful. This china was bought by my Grandpa Smith who died three years before I was born. He bought it in Japan, I believe, while he was in the Navy serving. So anyway... as I opened up the boxes... this is what I found...

There is a full service for 10 people, 12 on some of the plates.


This is a close up of the plates... isn't the design amazing!?!?!


Here is a close up of the one side of the tea cups.


Needless to say I am way excited to use these for a fancy evening.

Brain Fart Day!

I have declared today, Mommy Brain Fart Day... I say this not as a bad thing, but as a how in the world could that have slipped through my fingers.

So my brain fart for the day: This morning having Don have a job and i work on Friday's we both got up and got ready. We woke are darling daughter and got her ready. We all went outside at the same time. I put all of our stuff in the car, and then put Aubrey in her car seat and shut the door. I got in the car and drove away. So a few minutes into the drive Aubrey started to say "On"... and she kept saying it over and over... not constant but to get my attention. Now usually when she says on, she has taken her shoes off and wants them back on... this unfortunately was not the case... so I just kept driving. About 15 minutes into our hour drive, she finally got my attention enough that I re-adjusted my rear view mirror. I then noticed that Aubrey was not buckled in!!!

I had such a brain fart that I put her in her seat, but I didn't buckle her! That was the scariest moment that I have had. How smart and wonderful is my little girl! She knew she was supposed to be buckled in, and that mommy hadn't done it. I am just very lucky that she didn't take the opportunity and get out of her seat. The whole time she was trying to tell me, she was also trying to do her buckle. Thank heavens for doing the right thing all the time, so that she knows the difference. I know that this is a mistake that I won't ever let happen again. Hope your brain farts, are on a smaller scale and not so dangerous. :)

What a relief

Okay, yeah I know I don't post on here very often. The blog is wonderfully maintained by my awesome wife usually. But this time I actually have something worth sharing. :) Back on January 15th Nicole posted about the wonderful news that I have been laid off from my job at Onyx Graphics.

It has been a seemingly long three weeks, but yesterday just after noon I accepted the offer for a position at a company called AquaVeo doing Software Engineering! I start Monday and so will likely be gainfully employed once again. (Still gotta sign all the paperwork.) And it is closer to where we live!

Anyway, still not much of a blog post but I thought I would share. Have a nice day and thanks for stopping by!

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I want to wish everyone a Happy V-Day! I hope you all have a wonderful time celebrating with those that you love.

Happy Valentine's Day Don!!! I love you and thank you for a wonderful three years of marriage and celebrations!

Sigh of relief...

Yesterday was one of the first doctors appointments for this new little one about to join our family. I was honestly freaking myself out. I haven't seen the doctor in 6 weeks... now I know that doesn't seem like forever, but with my first I went every four. We I was suppose to see him last week, but he was out of town... dang doctor. Well these last two weeks I have started freaking myself out. I am so much more worried with this pregnancy than with my first. So yesterday we went to the doctors, and well he came in and we heard a heartbeat. When I heard that my mind was set at ease. Everything was going to be fine. I remember with Aubrey that when I heard her heartbeat for the first time, I was kind of like, oh ok. And that was it. With this one, the doctor just left the heart radio, (that is what I call it anyway), on my belly for a long time. The longer it was on there, the more safe I felt. It was really weird and comforting at the same time. But then the big news was... we can find out what we are having at our next appointment. When he said that, I had to sit back and think for a minute. Wow... I am already that far... I can't believe it. August seems so far away and for some reason for the doctor to say that at the next appointment we will can know what we are having, it just made it seem much more closer and real.

I guess this in more of a babbling post, but it has been really nice to have that check with the doctor. There are so many things that you can't control in a pregnancy, and with this pregnancy, I have found my mind wandering in way too many possibilities.

Don and I found out that I was pregnant at just a little over 3 weeks. This has made for a really long period. And telling people right away was not hard for me, because we had waited so long for those two lines.

I remember the day that I found out plain as day. The day after Thanksgiving I got up and hit the sales... great sales... and the day went on like normal. Then I went to bed early that night because I was exhausted. I woke up at like 4 in the morning and Don's little brother was sleeping over that night and he was on the couch in the living room. We were dealing with date timing... like this day do this and this day do this... well I missed the day where I was suppose to take the prego test, and it was 3 days late. So I got up and thought what the hay... with the other test that was taken earlier, I know this prego test will be negative. So I took the test. And if was my first digital one... it was the only one I had, so hey lets go for it. That little timer took FOREVER!!! It was only suppose to take one minute... but it was like five. My mind the whole time was saying you already know the outcome, so don't get your hopes up... you are just confirming what you know. And then it popped up... PREGNANT I seriously couldn't believe it. I wanted to scream! Seriously!?!?! For real!?!?! Well at that point there was no hope of sleeping. I felt bad that Don was asleep, but I went and kissed him on the lips and he woke up... and I told him, I couldn't not wake you. We're pregnant! Kissy, kissy, rejoice. We sat on it and thought about it... and then by the time it was oh eight o'clock, doubt set in. If all the tests were negative, and this one is positive, how? The other test it what allows us to get prego...

Later on that same day... We had family pictures with Don's family, (still waiting on those pictures), and it was the hardest thing not to tell anyone. I just wanted to shout it. Well I didn't keep it in to everyone. So then Monday I worked and made arrangements with the Dr.'s to have my blood drawn that day to get a blood confirmation. I was just really skeptical. And I didn't want it to not be true. So they told me the test would take 2 days to get the results. Ok what is another two days. So the nurse calls me on Wednesday... they tested my blood on the wrong test. (Thinking I was prego), not something you want to tell an emotional prego lady. :) So I would have to go in and have my blood redrawn, only to take two more days, and I was already far enough away from the Dr's that I would have to wait till the next Monday for the results. We ended up getting the results back faster than expected... Yay!!! it was for sure. So our lovely little story of how we started with our second.

Jumping the gun... just a little!

Well I am very excited to write that tomorrow Don and I will celebrate 3 wonderful years of being married. I am very lucky that I have was married to Don in the temple for eternity. We have grown together so much over these last 3 years. I can honestly say that the trials that we have gone through... good and bad with ups and downs, have only strengthened our relationship. I love him for being the father of my children and he is a wonderful father to Aubrey. I can't imagine my life without him. I love you Don for everything that you have done and are doing for our family. You are a great man and the world is lucky to have you, but I am lucky that you are with me everyday. Thank you for all you do and I love you very much. I love the times when we are together and there is nothing to do and we just sit together. Being together is great with you. Thanks for all you do and Happy Anniversary Don (just a little early)!