Frustration!!!!!

So in my mind there are two kinds of frustration. The first is the kind that you can get frustrated over learn from it, make changes and move on. The second is the kind that you get frustrated and no matter how much you try to either forget, change or deal with it you only end up more frustrated. I usually don't vent on the blog because it really isn't the place, but when you are having a hard time being heard, there needs to be that moment of getting it off your chest.

It seems at the moment that there are more frustrating moments that falls into the second category. I just pray that when things work out it is all for the better.

I sat and had a good talk with my parents tonight, and I so miss those talks. I miss that closeness and the understanding that we have always had. I was able to get my frustrations out but ended up feeling more lost than I was when I went in. I know what I want, but I don't know what another wants. I would like to say that we want the same, but there is no way of knowing because the communication has stopped right now. I have so many people who love me and my family and I love having them around (even if it is only to vent), that are around me all the time, but I feel as though I am alone. The person I need the most, makes me feel like we don't understand each other. I want things to work but out for the better, whatever that may be. Right now the unknown has hit and I hate this.

The trouble that we face is no different than what many others face. I know everyone has trials and moments where it feels like the world is ending right here and now, but it always seems to go on. I look at this for the moment as a great thing that happened, and we are ready for the next step. If it hadn't of happened, there is no telling where we would be.

There is only so much that can be given and taken on any given day, and it seems as though what I can give and take is already a week ahead of me.

I have grown in a way that sitting and waiting is not for me. When problems arise, I want them dealt with and handled in a timely manner. For the past while it seems like things are always being pushed to the back. I have taken it for a while and I am ready for it to stop. Now I know it isn't going to happen over night, but I do want things to at least be put in perspective. Keep me informed. Show me the progress. There are some things that can't be dealt with over a matter of minutes, but weeks and months passing are not ok. I want to say that there is more that I could have done, but I honestly don't know that even if I had tried, it would have moved any faster.

I know this feeling wont last long, but for the time that it does last, I hope it never comes again. I don't want this to be a downer for anyone, I just needed a moment to vent. If you know me, you know that I do that well.